10 Tips to Improve Your Self Esteem
Striving to improve our self-esteem is on everybody's mind. It does not matter if you actively pursue this goal or you subconsciously working on improving your self esteem. The problem with this is that you really do not know exactly what you want to improve. You're acting intuitively on external signals.
Do you know how to improve your self-esteem? Probably not. To make it a little bit easier for you and to achieve your goals quicker I put together 10 tips that you can utilize right away.
1. Build up your self-esteem. You must take an inventory. What do you want to improve or change about the way you interact with others? Try to make only one change at a time. Always check you progress before making another change.
2. Celebrate your journey, not your destination. Learn to always feel good about where you are now, and to exude self-confidence about anywhere you might find yourself tomorrow.
3. Set clear goals for yourself before every interaction. Know what you want. Think about how the people you will be meeting can help you reach those goals. Then decide how to approach each person accordingly. Apply this regularly and you will notice a difference.
4. Be proactive. Take the initiative. Be decisive. Let the other person know exactly how he or she can help you. Proactive people tent to be more successful in their career.
5. Treat each person you meet as if she or he is truly important. (You will be amazed how this works.)
6. Give a firm handshake; look the other person straight in the eye. Practice both of these. Your handshake should be just right. Not too firm and not too loose. Train yourself to notice something you like or find attractive in the person.
7. Listen! Listen! Listen! Teach yourself to develop good listening skills. Learn a way to remember the other person's name. If in doubt simply ask for the name again 2 or 3 sentences into the conversation.
8. Visibly respond to the other person. Smile, nod agreement, and address him or her by name. Apply all you listening skills to visibly respond. The body language is the most important part of a conversation. Practice, practice, practice?
9. Pay more attention to the other person than to yourself. Are you responding to what may be going on in his or her life? Don't filter out bad news. Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Be caring.
10. Stay "in the moment." Don't mentally cut off the other person. Do not reload while he or she is speaking. What this means is that you need to focus on the other person 100% during a conversation. Anything less is considered rude.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Why We Shouldnt Worry
Why We Shouldnt Worry
Almost everyone experiences some form of worry one time or another. It is a part of life. Everyday, we struggle financially, make decisions, and face major changes in life. These things create an inevitable occasional wave of apprehension. Ordinarily, a certain amount of worry is essential for our survival. It helps us to focus on the task at hand and leads us to constructive action. However, when worry goes overboard, instead of being a good friend, reminding us to use good sense, worry suddenly morphs into a bully, making us crazy about things we can't control. Here's a list of reasons why constant worry is not good, if it is at all:
1. Worry is a Complete Waste of Time
Worry changes nothing. We don't accomplish anything or find answers to our questions by worrying. We also cannot add anything to our life by worrying. Worry can only subtract from our lives by causing such infirmities like ulcers or coronary thrombosis. Worry is just muddling away today’s time to clutter up tomorrow’s opportunities with yesterday’s troubles.
2. Worry is Unnecessary
Worry can't erase the mistakes of the past. It can't unravel the answers to the future. It can't make anything better in the present. Hence, there is no need for worry because it is inessential.
3. Worry Contradicts Common Sense
We must learn to live one day at a time. God has given us our lives in units of twenty-four hours and we should take life a day at a time. If we wish to live a long and fruitful life, we should respect and live by the biological clock He has built inside us.
4. Worry is Illogical
Worry is illogical because it is futile, unproductive and pointless. It is faith in the negative, trust in the unpleasant, assurance of disaster and belief in defeat. We do not know what tomorrow may bring, so there is no point in worrying about it. Why look ahead and worry about things that have not yet happened. They may just never happen anyway.
5. Worry Creates the Problem
If we are focused on our fears, we are more likely to crash into them. Thinking about them is a confirmation bias of their existence making them exist even if they aren't really there.
6. Worry Distracts Our Attention
Worry distracts us from the duties of the present. It grabs our attention from the things of utmost importance. It interferes with our highest functioning and delicious enjoyment of life. Worry is an uninvited guest who spoils all our fun, making our shoulders droop and forehead crease just when we should be feeling triumphant or carefree or filled with hope.
7. Worry Doubles Our Problems
To anticipate future troubles by worrying about them today is to double them. We already have enough troubles today. Today's problems are all we are capable of handling. Worrying for tomorrow stacks up more problems than we can handle.
8. Worry Diverts our Point of Life
Life is far more important than material things. So often our worries are about relatively unimportant and trivial matters, such as food, drink, clothing, houses and cars. If we seek fulfilment in material things, we are missing the whole point of life. The point of life is the fulfillment of our purpose. Our life purpose is a combination of three things: who we are at the very core, our vision for our self and what we see possible for the world and our values. Instead of working out for our purpose, worry takes us away from the main stream of life completely diverting us from our point of life.
9. Worry is Toxic to our Health
When we worry, every system in our body is affected. Blood clotting increases, blood pressure rises, and the liver produces more cholesterol, all of which raises our risk of heart attack and stroke. Muscle tension gives rise to headaches, back pain, and other body aches. It also triggers an increase in stomach acid and either slow or speed up muscle contractions in our intestines, which can lead to stomach aches, constipation, diarrhea, gas or heartburn. Worry can also affect our respiratory system by aggravating asthma.
It is a medical fact that worriers die sooner than the non-worriers. That is because, as Dr. E. Stanley Jones says, "we are not designed to live in fear and worry." To live by worry is against our own nature. That is why worry is so destructive.
10. Worry Affects the People we Love
The Greek word for “worry” is "merimnaw" which literally means “to be drawn in different directions.” In logical terms, worry tears us to pieces spiritually, psychologically, physically and even socially. When we become too focused on our worries, we forget about the things that really matters, even the people we care. It is a constant and dominating force that disrupts our lives and disconnects us from others.
We don't have to deny our worries or push them out to the limits because in reality, we can't. It is a part of us. It is our nature. Indeed, worry is good to some extent. It only takes a toll on our lives if we are so consumed in it. If we hang around it day in and day out, it can short circuit our own electrical systems and leave us malfunctioning. We should take control over our worries instead of letting them take control over us. Worries are only in our head, thus it leaves us a choice whether to allow them to propagate or just forget about them. Sometimes, the process of worrying about a problem becomes much bigger than the problem itself. So we often need to learn to deal with worries head on. We should choose to think of the present concerns and decide to do something about them instead of simply worrying on them.
Almost everyone experiences some form of worry one time or another. It is a part of life. Everyday, we struggle financially, make decisions, and face major changes in life. These things create an inevitable occasional wave of apprehension. Ordinarily, a certain amount of worry is essential for our survival. It helps us to focus on the task at hand and leads us to constructive action. However, when worry goes overboard, instead of being a good friend, reminding us to use good sense, worry suddenly morphs into a bully, making us crazy about things we can't control. Here's a list of reasons why constant worry is not good, if it is at all:
1. Worry is a Complete Waste of Time
Worry changes nothing. We don't accomplish anything or find answers to our questions by worrying. We also cannot add anything to our life by worrying. Worry can only subtract from our lives by causing such infirmities like ulcers or coronary thrombosis. Worry is just muddling away today’s time to clutter up tomorrow’s opportunities with yesterday’s troubles.
2. Worry is Unnecessary
Worry can't erase the mistakes of the past. It can't unravel the answers to the future. It can't make anything better in the present. Hence, there is no need for worry because it is inessential.
3. Worry Contradicts Common Sense
We must learn to live one day at a time. God has given us our lives in units of twenty-four hours and we should take life a day at a time. If we wish to live a long and fruitful life, we should respect and live by the biological clock He has built inside us.
4. Worry is Illogical
Worry is illogical because it is futile, unproductive and pointless. It is faith in the negative, trust in the unpleasant, assurance of disaster and belief in defeat. We do not know what tomorrow may bring, so there is no point in worrying about it. Why look ahead and worry about things that have not yet happened. They may just never happen anyway.
5. Worry Creates the Problem
If we are focused on our fears, we are more likely to crash into them. Thinking about them is a confirmation bias of their existence making them exist even if they aren't really there.
6. Worry Distracts Our Attention
Worry distracts us from the duties of the present. It grabs our attention from the things of utmost importance. It interferes with our highest functioning and delicious enjoyment of life. Worry is an uninvited guest who spoils all our fun, making our shoulders droop and forehead crease just when we should be feeling triumphant or carefree or filled with hope.
7. Worry Doubles Our Problems
To anticipate future troubles by worrying about them today is to double them. We already have enough troubles today. Today's problems are all we are capable of handling. Worrying for tomorrow stacks up more problems than we can handle.
8. Worry Diverts our Point of Life
Life is far more important than material things. So often our worries are about relatively unimportant and trivial matters, such as food, drink, clothing, houses and cars. If we seek fulfilment in material things, we are missing the whole point of life. The point of life is the fulfillment of our purpose. Our life purpose is a combination of three things: who we are at the very core, our vision for our self and what we see possible for the world and our values. Instead of working out for our purpose, worry takes us away from the main stream of life completely diverting us from our point of life.
9. Worry is Toxic to our Health
When we worry, every system in our body is affected. Blood clotting increases, blood pressure rises, and the liver produces more cholesterol, all of which raises our risk of heart attack and stroke. Muscle tension gives rise to headaches, back pain, and other body aches. It also triggers an increase in stomach acid and either slow or speed up muscle contractions in our intestines, which can lead to stomach aches, constipation, diarrhea, gas or heartburn. Worry can also affect our respiratory system by aggravating asthma.
It is a medical fact that worriers die sooner than the non-worriers. That is because, as Dr. E. Stanley Jones says, "we are not designed to live in fear and worry." To live by worry is against our own nature. That is why worry is so destructive.
10. Worry Affects the People we Love
The Greek word for “worry” is "merimnaw" which literally means “to be drawn in different directions.” In logical terms, worry tears us to pieces spiritually, psychologically, physically and even socially. When we become too focused on our worries, we forget about the things that really matters, even the people we care. It is a constant and dominating force that disrupts our lives and disconnects us from others.
We don't have to deny our worries or push them out to the limits because in reality, we can't. It is a part of us. It is our nature. Indeed, worry is good to some extent. It only takes a toll on our lives if we are so consumed in it. If we hang around it day in and day out, it can short circuit our own electrical systems and leave us malfunctioning. We should take control over our worries instead of letting them take control over us. Worries are only in our head, thus it leaves us a choice whether to allow them to propagate or just forget about them. Sometimes, the process of worrying about a problem becomes much bigger than the problem itself. So we often need to learn to deal with worries head on. We should choose to think of the present concerns and decide to do something about them instead of simply worrying on them.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Be Positive
Be Positive
This may sound quite aberrant to most of the younger generations who are not really exposed to the personality development articles, books or motivational lectures.
Being positive does not indicate that we are not able to handle a situation, which is of abstruse nature. Being positive means, seeing the opportunity, and seeing the best option that is available in any situation.
Generally people criticize themselves, time and other previous situations whenever, they are caught up in a problem, jinx etc.
Abecedarians who are undergoing personality development through self interest or by means of their parents, pretty well fall into such traps of criticizing themselves for what has happened. However, let me tell you, if you have chosen to be strong, then nothing can make you weak, if you have chosen to be weak, nothing can make you strong. The transformation from weak to strong and vice versa is very much dependent upon your self esteem " The way you feel about yourself", will and of course positive attitude.
People are bound to make mistakes; and they should, in fact to make your brains work. Yes, when you commit mistakes or things go wrong, as they may sometimes, you do not have to feel inferior, rather be strong and fight back, make yourself capable to handle such situations. Above all learn; the more you learn, the more you achieve. As it is very precisely said:
Arise, awake and stop not till you goal is achieved.
Here, goal may be anything; it might be effective handling or learning.
When i say LEARN; i mean:
L - LeadE - EffectiveA - AlertR - Realistic, ready, reasonableN - Natty (smart)
Remember, being effective, alert, realistic and natty not only helps and enables you to act pragmatically, but it also helps you in learning.
So, fear not my dear, rather strike hard and effectively. May this article bring many positive personality changes in you transforming your sole into a blend of intellect, boldness and bring out the natty features of yours whenever a hard task arises.
Last but not the least: "Believe in you".
This may sound quite aberrant to most of the younger generations who are not really exposed to the personality development articles, books or motivational lectures.
Being positive does not indicate that we are not able to handle a situation, which is of abstruse nature. Being positive means, seeing the opportunity, and seeing the best option that is available in any situation.
Generally people criticize themselves, time and other previous situations whenever, they are caught up in a problem, jinx etc.
Abecedarians who are undergoing personality development through self interest or by means of their parents, pretty well fall into such traps of criticizing themselves for what has happened. However, let me tell you, if you have chosen to be strong, then nothing can make you weak, if you have chosen to be weak, nothing can make you strong. The transformation from weak to strong and vice versa is very much dependent upon your self esteem " The way you feel about yourself", will and of course positive attitude.
People are bound to make mistakes; and they should, in fact to make your brains work. Yes, when you commit mistakes or things go wrong, as they may sometimes, you do not have to feel inferior, rather be strong and fight back, make yourself capable to handle such situations. Above all learn; the more you learn, the more you achieve. As it is very precisely said:
Arise, awake and stop not till you goal is achieved.
Here, goal may be anything; it might be effective handling or learning.
When i say LEARN; i mean:
L - LeadE - EffectiveA - AlertR - Realistic, ready, reasonableN - Natty (smart)
Remember, being effective, alert, realistic and natty not only helps and enables you to act pragmatically, but it also helps you in learning.
So, fear not my dear, rather strike hard and effectively. May this article bring many positive personality changes in you transforming your sole into a blend of intellect, boldness and bring out the natty features of yours whenever a hard task arises.
Last but not the least: "Believe in you".
Monday, March 06, 2006
Positive Mental Attitude
Positive Mental Attitude
Look at this glass on the table in front of you. Is it half-full or is it half-empty?
Now, do you realize that it is entirely for you to decide what the answer to this question is going to be.
The choice is yours.
So, the very same reality can be seen in opposite ways: in a positive way, and in a negative way.
And there is always a positive side to any thing, any situation, any event, any person.
Look at the world in a different way. Try to find out that positive side. At first, you might literally have to dig it out, but after some time, it automatically appears to you. In fact, you eventually only see the good side.
Everything is beautiful, "everybody's beautiful, in their own way", as the song goes.
So we invite you to try our 3-step positive mental attitude formula. In any situation, however apparently bad:
1. Keep cool and coolly examine the situation. Turn it upside down, inside out, downside up and outside in.
2. Suddenly you realize it could have been worse. Find out how and why it could have been worse.
3. Finally, the good side of it will just appear to you.This can happen gradually or in a flash. It all depends on parts 1 and 2.
Soon you'll see all things and all people in a positive way What you call "failure" is in fact simply a new opportunity to try again and do better than if you had "succeeded" in the first place.
Now, have you noticed that a rich person has more of a chance of getting a bank loan than a poor person? In otherwords: you must have money to be given MORE money!
In the same way, if you are a "happy person", you'll get MORE happiness.
As the great American poet Theodore Roethke said: "The right things happen to the happy man"
Don't worry, whatever type of person you are, you can easily turn yourself into a "happy person".
I can almost see your wry, "easier-said-than-done" smile.
But please, just try our 3-step formula and soon, very soon, in fact much sooner than you think, you'll take up a sturdy and radiant Positive Mental Attitude to life and THAT is the only key to wellness, happiness, and a longer life.
Look at this glass on the table in front of you. Is it half-full or is it half-empty?
Now, do you realize that it is entirely for you to decide what the answer to this question is going to be.
The choice is yours.
So, the very same reality can be seen in opposite ways: in a positive way, and in a negative way.
And there is always a positive side to any thing, any situation, any event, any person.
Look at the world in a different way. Try to find out that positive side. At first, you might literally have to dig it out, but after some time, it automatically appears to you. In fact, you eventually only see the good side.
Everything is beautiful, "everybody's beautiful, in their own way", as the song goes.
So we invite you to try our 3-step positive mental attitude formula. In any situation, however apparently bad:
1. Keep cool and coolly examine the situation. Turn it upside down, inside out, downside up and outside in.
2. Suddenly you realize it could have been worse. Find out how and why it could have been worse.
3. Finally, the good side of it will just appear to you.This can happen gradually or in a flash. It all depends on parts 1 and 2.
Soon you'll see all things and all people in a positive way What you call "failure" is in fact simply a new opportunity to try again and do better than if you had "succeeded" in the first place.
Now, have you noticed that a rich person has more of a chance of getting a bank loan than a poor person? In otherwords: you must have money to be given MORE money!
In the same way, if you are a "happy person", you'll get MORE happiness.
As the great American poet Theodore Roethke said: "The right things happen to the happy man"
Don't worry, whatever type of person you are, you can easily turn yourself into a "happy person".
I can almost see your wry, "easier-said-than-done" smile.
But please, just try our 3-step formula and soon, very soon, in fact much sooner than you think, you'll take up a sturdy and radiant Positive Mental Attitude to life and THAT is the only key to wellness, happiness, and a longer life.
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